Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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