ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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