so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
