come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
honey bunches of taint.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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