My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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