We named our party play list daddy issues
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
