We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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