that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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