You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
