Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
