Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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