I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
