dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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