So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
