I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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