I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
