Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
