well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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