Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
