Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so explain again why im purple
no
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
