i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
