I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize