you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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