i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
