Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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