If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
