I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
