I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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