Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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