okay pat passed out under dana's car
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize