so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He shit in the fireplace
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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