One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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