drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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