A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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