So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
