There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize