hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
