i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
