I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
