Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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