Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
