it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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