If i come over, it means nothing
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
