You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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