No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
