Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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