wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
