He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
