i think my tv is drunk
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
