There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
