just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
