I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
