My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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