Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
