I feel like abortions should bother me more
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
